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Finding Love

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“You were born with potential.
You were born with goodness and trust.
You were born with ideals and dreams.
You were born with greatness.
You were born with wings.
You are not meant for crawling, so don’t.
You have wings.
Learn to use them and fly.”
Rumi

You are a radiant Being of love and light. You are a child of the Universe. Do you believe me? Could you look me in the eye and know it to be true? How does that feel? You are held in the palm of God’s hand. Do you know how magnificent you are? Until you know exactly who you are and how truly amazing you are how can you expect anyone else to truly see you? If you can nurture your self love your self-esteem and self confidence will soar.

If you tend to give much of your time, energy and love to those around you, without considering yourself, you run the risk of feeling drained and depleted. Your partner, children, family, friends and colleagues or clients all need you. You might be so busy nurturing, inspiring, and challenging them to be their best selves you forget to do the same for yourself.

How about you pause to fill up those inner reserves so that you have more to give everyone who relies on you?

Loving kindness is first practiced towards yourself since we often have difficulty loving others without first loving ourselves. Learning how to love yourself is a key ingredient for happiness. Loving kindness is first practiced towards yourself since we often have difficulty loving others without first loving ourselves. Self love is at the very core of wellbeing, joy, self-empowerment and our ability to manifest and appreciate life. Even if you have everything else in your life exactly the way you want it you wouldn’t be able to enjoy it if you weren’t at peace with yourself.

Besides that every relationship you ever have with someone else mirrors one or more aspects of the relationship you have with yourself. The most direct way to love yourself is to turn your attention inward to your true self, that aspect of you that is simply here and is already love. If you want a partner to love you start by loving yourself. Being capable of having a healthy relationship depends on how much you have learnt to love yourself. Self love comes first. Self love is the key to unlocking your potential, to seeing who you truly are and allowing it to shine through every thought, word and action.

The lie your ego tells you is that you are unworthy, somehow less, inferior. When you realise that the opposite is true and that you are here to experience love you begin to dismantle your defences, blocks and barriers that hold you separate and unable to live this purpose.

Life reflects your attitude towards yourself so if you want people to like you, you need only discover and dissolve the inner blocks that keep you from an unconditional love and acceptance of yourself. If you like yourself, then other people will like you too, often without even knowing why. In order to share love you first need to have love within yourself in abundance.

Life is amazing when you truly nourish and love yourself in a way that empowers and grounds. By relaxing your defences you naturally send out a positive, harmonious, peaceful and caring vibration that helps ground others so that they feel loved and validated regardless of their experience.

Do I suffer from a Lack of Self Love?
Not knowing how to love yourself can be incredibly debilitating. At the very least you’re plagued by indecision and self-doubt. In more intense cases there is depression and self-hatred that cripples you in every aspect of your life. Self focused negativity acts as a barrier to awareness of your connection to who you truly are as a spiritual being of love and light.

Until you know how to love yourself there will be an inner mental war going on within that divides your energy and sabotages your enjoyment of life.

Signs of a lack of self love includes:
– you overthink or are uncertain of your own feelings or opinions

– you tend to gossip about other people and their tragedies (it makes you feel better)

– you tend to take everything personally

– you feel hurt, attacked, harassed and mistreated by all

– you react adversely to a passing comment of strangers

– you react adversely to social media (EG. Facebook) or the comments of strangers

– you seek validation from outside

– you are susceptible to your insecurities and can lapse into co-dependent, clingy, needy or toxic relationships

– you are buffeted by external opinions and situations

If you feel separate from your own love you will attract people and circumstances that mirror your negative beliefs and feelings about yourself. Sometimes these tendencies become a pattern, attracting gas lighter or passive aggressive people that respond to you the same way, over and over. If you lack self you may wallow in self pity or self loathing, accuse others of hurtfulness or cruelty while casting yourself as the victim. And on and on it goes!

Unfortunately the Universe will be forced to reflect your lack of self love by sending people and situations that reinforce this experience until you have learned. By the Law of Attraction it couldn’t be any other way. We experience the manifestations of what we feel and have attention on. So, in order for you to experience loving people and circumstances, you need to know how to love yourself first.

The universe responds to your frequency. If you feel that love is scarce you will continue to manifest that vibration and love will not come easily. The same occurs if you clutch onto love too tightly instead of letting it flow freely. If you feel love is abundant and you give and receive it openly, then this is the vibration you will continue to manifest.

Where your focus goes energy flows. Do you want to promote the energy of lack, suffering, selfishness and self sabotage or do you want to empower others and see the light and love within each and everyone? By reflecting and experiencing the love and light within you can offer this same experience to others.

Until you take a good long look at how you treat yourself and how you sooth, nurture and empower yourself you will remain trapped in this self sabotaging cycle. Sometimes awareness is enough to change what you attract. If you see your part in the drama and stop playing your role the drama will inevitably end. Learn to view everyone with compassion and love, beginning with yourself. Separate people from behaviour, loving them while forgiving their actions. No longer lash out, condemn or hurt others out of fear. If you suffer a lapse of judgement, step back, breath, reconnect with your divine self and try again.

When you are full of self love the opinions of strangers no longer count. They just slide straight off. You love you and what others think is none of your business! You will become more discerning of who you share your truth, your life and your love with. Those who can’t or won’t respect you no longer interest you and they will just fade from your life. Self love becomes your strength, your powerful centre to return to when times get tough. You will find the inner reserves to weather storms with less damage. You will live all loved up from within so no one can affect you.

Ways to Nurture Self Love
Self love comes down to building a loving, nonjudgmental, compassionate and affirming relationship with you. The first step is to stop gossiping, negative thought patterns and relying on the love and approval of others. Begin the journey to self love by growing a separate identity beyond the opinions of others – including immediate family members. This can be the hardest part if you have unconsciously taken on decades of negative talk from your parents or siblings.

You can start by becoming aware of your internal dialogue, of the negative self talk that creates your beliefs in yourself. To love yourself involves breaking through programming in order to realise who you truly are. Without doing the work of loving yourself, you will most likely attract those opposite of love, and that is a recipe for rocky relationships. Loving yourself means recognizing that you are perfect just the way you are. Being truly grateful for being able to exist in your human body, exactly as you are, is the highest form of self love that you can display.

Go to the Heart of the Matter
Another way is to bypass the old outmoded patterns all together and go straight to the heart of the matter. If you relax your defences you naturally send out a positive, harmonious, peaceful and caring vibration that helps stabilise those in your immediate environment so that they experience an ease to their suffering which, at it’s root, is caused by a lack of love.

Begin living from the heart, easily and simply by learning to drop your attention into your heart. This will enable you to access your heart’s inner wisdom and that of the Universe. The heart is our deepest knowing. Sometimes that deepest knowing is veiled or confused by more superficial levels of the mind: by opinions, by desires, by social conditioning, and most of all by fear. Like a mirror it may become obscured the veils of conditioned thought, by the soot of emotions, by the corrosion of negative attitudes. In fact we easily confuse the ego with the heart.

As each one of us begins this quiet revolution of living from the heart we will begin to see it reflected in your life and in your world. It is also how each one of us will create real and lasting change in your personal life and co-creating a new and better world in the process.

Whenever you have a negative thought towards yourself or another person, drop into you heart. Reverse the thought and offer love instead. Create a free flow of loving kindness towards yourself and others that releases the negative thought.

Drop the elevator out of the mind and lower the elevator into the heart. Sink into the centre of your chest – in the area of your heart. Feel it. If you need place your hands, palms downwards on your chest. Where your attention goes energy flows. Connect to your heart. Stay in your heart. Find peace with it. Here is stability, here is calm.

Feel the pure consciousness that unifies all, that is unifying all. Not just you, but unifying you with all that is. You are spirit having a human experience, Tune in to your soul, to your divine spark connected to All That Is. In essence, you are part of All That Is. God (the Universe, Source) vibrates at a high frequency of love. Therefore, you are love. Remember you are a being of love and light. You can feed into it and share the love, share the light. You radiate love and light like a beacon that never goes out.

How could you not love your body knowing that it was designed to be an inter-dimensional vehicle and that you are always connected to source? Have you looked into the mirror lately and loved what you saw? Inevitable there is usually one if not more feature of ourselves that we would like to change. It is your programmed beliefs that would have you think you are less than perfect. Love is perfection.

I do genuinely believe that being true to yourself and following your heart will bring more love into your life. This can mean making the tough decisions to follow your passions in your career or your love life, even when it might be easier to take a more conventional approach. When you are living and making decisions from your heart, you are sending a clear message of intention to the universe that you want to live a happy and authentic life.

Tune in. Connect with yourself on a soul level and be filled with the ability to fully love yourself and be able to deeply love other people and the world around you.

“My dear you are beautiful! You are! All that you are is shining from your eyes. Live it. Celebrate your uniqueness. Do not apologise for it. You serve no one by acting small…

You are a being of love and light. Shine your light of love on all who you come in contact with. Be a beacon for others to see their own inner light. Offer them the sudden illumination of understanding who they truly are.” Primary Spirit Guide (quote from an intuitive Reading).

Art by Joyce Huntington

Article by: Debra Reeves
Professional Intuitive
Website: debrareeves.com
Facebook: Tune In with Debra Reeves

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