The Authenticity of Going Grey
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“Like peeling the layers of an artichoke, you go through many layers before you get to the delicious heart of who you are, and it seems that each layer is more and more succulent. Most of the outer labels of our identity place us in boxes or categories relative to other people.
We might identify ourselves by race, gender, religion, political views, occupation, and so on. Many of those labels were given to us by birth or circumstance and all of them inform our point of view. But none of them are who we are – they are simply categories of relative identification and the preferences of our egos…
How can we know who we truly are when we spend our time and attention trying to be something other than what we find ourselves to be? No amount of changing ourselves for the purpose of being perceived as cool or fashionable or getting the approval of others is going to bring us any closer to really knowing ourselves.” Judith Johnson
Unravel. Strip away the facade and masks you wear. Strip away all that you identified with and took for granted. Find your essential self, your authentic self. In this way you can remember who you truly are.
Often your soul gifts have been hidden due to years conforming to environments that encouraged you to blend in. It may require digging to get back to the essential you that is unique. But it’s so worth it! Discover who you truly are!
Tune in to who you truly are and align with your true self – your authentic, fearless, creative and unconditionally loving aspect that knows no limitation or separation from spirit.
Authenticity is not a state. It is a way of life. It is not static. It means that you are willing to change as your understandings evolve your awareness.
You know when you are being authentic when you feel inside what resonates and what doesn’t and follow your inner guidance. When you listen to your intuition everything in your life flows effortlessly. When you fight against your intuition or ignore it altogether you find yourself disconnected and frustrated. Your inner knowing tells you where your truth is.
Living from a place of absolute authenticity involves living a life that is a true reflection of your deepest beliefs, values and truth. I like to tune in to my inner moral compass! It is about being true to yourself through your thoughts, words and actions.
Sometimes it means relinquishing a relationship, situation or circumstance that no longer serves you. If your job or relationship is not in alignment with your truth, honour it, honour the learning and let it go. Honouring and following your intuition will lead you to choose only what is for your highest good and the highest good of all affected.
The more you practice listening to your inner knowing the more you will find yourself creating a fulfilling life aligned with your true self – your authentic, fearless, creative and unconditionally loving aspect that knows no limitation or separation from spirit.
By holding the intention of being true to yourself you focus your attention on whatever resonates with your truth. Decisions or choices become a self-editing process where you do more and more of those things that express your truth and less and less of those that do not. Through a clear intention and awareness you hold yourself accountable. It takes discipline and commitment to learn to live in alignment with who you truly are.
Since my 20’s I’ve endeavoured to be honest. This might seem obvious but when you decide to be honest it’s surprisingly difficult! I had no idea how often you find little lies flowing from your mouth to conform to society’s expectations. I have stepped outside platitudes and half truths, superficial banter and ego boosting. People tell lies to affirm or reinforce themselves and others. I don’t follow society’s rules!
I am a terrible liar now and my silence tends to become uncomfortable for those who prefer lies over truth. I tend to err towards the saying “If you haven’t got anything nice to say don’t say anything at all”. This was a favourite of my mother’s and over time I have discovered how useful it is. I attempt to be positive and affirming so this leads to awkward situations at times!
Rising into higher states of consciousness it becomes more and more difficult to lie because you want to be true to yourself and others, and make your relationships more conscious.
So this begs the question; why am I still colouring my hair??! Why do I persist in colouring my hair despite a rebellious rejection of all of society’s norms? I hardly ever wear make up – I still have the same make up given to me by various family members. I don’t feel self conscious or need to cover up my blemishes or patchy skin! Why colour my hair?
I knew I had a great grandfather who was white grey by the time he was 21 so when I discovered my first grey hairs at 13 I feared the worst! But it wasn’t as bad as that and I lasted most of my twenties before I had to intervene.
By the time I started having kids in my thirties I didn’t want to pour any chemicals into my body for fear of harming the growing foetus. I stopped colouring my hair, taking pharmaceuticals (not that I ever do) and wouldn’t even use cold sore cream when the need arose. I went cold turkey. I just stopped and let nature take its course.
But ballooning from 60 to 80kgs and being grey haired was more than my ego could bare so I returned to the bottle as soon as babe was born. By the time my third child set eyes on the world I was 35 and very very grey. There was no denying that I would look and feel like a grandmother instead of a mother at the school gate!
I turn 45 this month. My hair grows so so fast the regrowth is visible within 10 days. I am bedazzling two tone hair and need to recolour the roots every 3-4 weeks. That’s getting progressively more tricky as and burning my scalp with harsh chemicals every month is pretty unpleasant.
Still, the decision to go grey was a big one, a confronting one. Why have I persisted so long? Why don’t I persist longer?
I’ve consulted my friends. It’s tricky as their own insecurities come out to play. Some said “go for it!” while others looked guilty and started talking about their own obsessive hair colouring beyond what’s healthy. Others have locked eyes with me and said “don’t you dare!!” and been deadly serious. They don’t want me to make them uncomfortable? They don’t want to be seen with someone who looks old?
So. I have set the plan in motion. I have cut all my hair off. My hair is clippered to porcupine spike no.4 on the sides and long on top. It’s weird not having my great mane anymore. Every night I mentally remind myself to untie my hair before going to bed! It’ll take time to get used to it. I can already see the regrowth coming through on top. In a few weeks I will return either just get it clippered so it’s all grey on the sides and leave the top to grow out or colour it grey to match my regrowth. Time will tell how brave I’m feeling. It is a work in progress.
Eyebrows have been raised but most are pretty used to me being unpredictable so this isn’t so surprising. I wonder whether the greying process will be more confronting than the radical cut, especially for my girlfriends.
How authentic are you being in your life? Do you live in alignment with your emotional, mental and physical wellbeing? Do you express who you truly are in your thoughts, words and actions? Do you have any old habits or beliefs you need to get rid of? How about any good habits or beliefs you’d like to manifest in your life? Be fearless and make any changes in your life necessary to live more authentically.
And three months on…