Not Being Good Enough to Access Spirit

Do you feel a soul-deep pull of a goddess? Perhaps you feel this towards a specific goddess or an interest in many goddesses. But something holds you back. You cannot even put your finger on where this resistance comes from. You just unconsciously know it is not for you.

I was in my twenties when I first encountered gods and goddesses. Most of you would be familiar with my story. I fell into the weird and wonderful world of Spirit. In my final year of university when I was 20 years old, I moved into a share house with four housemates and a very active and very scary poltergeist. She would slam doors so the whole house shook, move things on the mantel piece, pinch you and billow wall hangings. Everyone felt her or saw her so there was no doubt she existed.

This rather intrusive poltergeist proved the incontrovertible existence of the spirit realm for me. This experience threw open the doors to the spirit realm and made all of Spirit feel accessible. I began, slowly but surely, exploring the infinite possibilities open to us in Spirit.

After my crash course in Spirit Rescue Work, I spent the next five years travelling through Asia and the Near East, living and working in thirteen countries. I met amazing people and explored culture through religion and spirituality, striking up conversations with the locals and studying whenever I could. By this stage I had realised that I was only limited by my imagination. I could connect and communicate with anyone. This included gods and goddesses.

Fast forward to my mid-forties and I learned to access the Akashic Records. The Akashic Records is a vast database that holds a record of our soul; past, present and future. When I first started offering Akashic Record Readings I found the whole guardian angels, ascended masters, gods and goddesses part a bit confronting. Previously, I had only ever contacted and communicated with the beings on the astral plane. I knew these high vibration beings existed and I understood intellectually that they protected us all, but I had never had a relationship with one.

I was not afraid. To my surprise I discovered I felt unworthy! Why would these high vibration beings possibly want to talk to little old me? What could I possibly have to say that was important enough for a god and goddess to stoop so low as to communicate with a lower Earthling such as myself? I had no idea I felt that way! I had to get over my own self-imposed feelings of inferiority to meet a deity. And I had to accept the fact I was important to them.

The Story of Not Good Enough

So many of us on a spiritual path find ourselves doing a lot of personal development. We begin to identity all of our faults and failings and follow the thread back. This thread begins with our childhood, but it can trace much further back into our parent’s or even grandparent’s lives. Then we have countless past lives all stored within us and impacting our present lifetime. We shed the unresolved stories of our past to no longer live on automatic pilot, going through the motions in the old ruts of familiar patterns that govern our behaviour.

But there’s another more sinister reason for the compulsion towards personal development in spiritual circles. This story is ingrained into Western culture, imprinted into the collective, after millennia of reinforcement. We are all pretty familiar with this story, consciously or unconsciously. I am not good enough. I am not worthy. I do not deserve …(fill in the blank).

This story of not good enough has served Western society well. When people feel not enough, unworthy and undeserving they are much easier to manipulate and control. We are made to feel not good enough unless we buy this new product. Western society Is based on this premise and it has even infiltrated our beliefs around our spiritual path.

So, what happens in a spiritual path that is not governed by this story of not good enough? 

We might have fallen into the trap of pleasing. We might believe that to be a spiritual person we must be infinitely patient, compassionate and positive. We must put other’s needs and desires before our own without thought for the physical, mental or emotional toll it is taking on ourselves.

We might feel insecure to show others our shadow, our faults and failings, our less shiny side. Or we might avoid having time alone, solitude or downtime because that is when we cannot quiet the voices in our heads screaming for our attention. Perhaps we stay busy all the time. Doing always busy always running to the next urgent thing. Living on adrenaline and needing to be needed.

It might look like a fear of using our god-given intuitive gifts and urges. Or it may have created beliefs that only certain people can have a true connection with the spirit realms. We might believe that we are unworthy of a direct connection with Spirit or that we are not capable of communicating with the spirit realms.

Reframing Ourselves and Our Lives

So, what happens when our personal development helps us to accept ourselves fully, as  imperfectly perfect? What happens when we fully embrace ourselves warts and all? Can we see our spiritual path as intrinsic to our lives, not something separate to it that we do when we step on the yoga mat or the meditation cushion?

How would knowing that you are good enough, worthy and deserving change the way you live? How would it reframe your relationships and reshape the way you interact with others? 

Just feel into it. How does it feel when I tell you that you are good enough, just as you are?

Let’s go one further. What do you feel when I tell you that you are a multidimensional being and a fractal of Source? A child of God/dess, held in the palm of their hand.

You are loved so very much for the truth of who you are. Exactly as you are in this moment. Not who you aspire to be or who you want to be or who you might be in the future. Right now. Exactly as you are. You are loved.

Feel how this shifts our perception of ourselves and the world. If we are loved unconditionally, we can stop beating ourselves up, forcing and pushing and striving and suffering to be someone we are not.

What Does This Have To Do With The Goddess?

Well, let’s just feel into that in our new way of being. She becomes an ally and an inspiration. We access her because we are honouring our abilities to communicate directly with Spirit. We feel her love, guidance and support. And we honour her as a fully enlightened being who has much to teach us about ourselves.

My initial calls to meet a goddess were met with full force, as if she has been waiting for the invitation. I could feel the energy around me change immediately and could sense a presence with me. My intuitive abilities switched on to give me details of who I was in the presence of. I could sense her physically, see (through clairvoyance) her, hear (clairaudience) her and as thoughts that pop spontaneously into my mind (claircognizance) and feel how she feels (clairsentience). I was engulfed in a wave of love.

With time and practice and the lowering of my own insecurities I learned that these beautiful beings come in different forms, but all bring in the same flush of unconditional love. They do not judge us. They are not here to see if we measure up and punish us if we do not.

They are not all that talkative if you ask them about the minutiae of life (questions about day-to-day issues are better answered by our personal spirit guides) but she is ever present to offer her love, guidance, and support to navigate the big questions and to give us a higher perspective on our lives.

How to Communicate with a Goddess

Pay attention to how the goddess communicates with you. She will use your strongest intuitive gifts and try many methods to speak volumes. She might appear to you as a sensation you feel physically. Perhaps you can see (clairvoyance) her in your mind’s eye. You might be able to hear (clairaudience) her speaking in your mind or as thoughts that pop spontaneously into your mind (claircognizance). Sometimes you might feel how she feels (clairsentience).

If you struggle to allow yourself to hear the goddess, she might resort to facial expressions and gestures to communicate and often express more meaning than words could possibly manage. Or she will use your natural environment with signs and synchronicities to give information and reassurance.

Call her with humility and respect. Honour her. And how deep in your bones that you are good enough to meet her.