So, when the relationship is over and you’re ready to move on, how do you let go? If you and an ex are connected on a soul level as twin flames, soul mates or part of your Sacred Contract in this life it can be incredibly difficult to.
After a break up it is necessary to go through the excruciating process of releasing your unresolved baggage from past relationships you will often choose to repeat similar lessons with a new partner. Relationships create beliefs and emotions that have been carried around in your subconscious. This can cloud your perspective and distort your perceptions….
For better or worse!
You may fall into familiar patterns, attracting the same type of person with similar traits to your ex or you might project them onto your new partner if patterns or beliefs are left unresolved. Even if they are aware enough not to take your bait you may still project your expectations onto them or be blind to who they truly are. The guy you attract may behave totally differently with someone else! They may be unconsciously sensing your expectations and meeting your expectations.
Unresolved baggage can be from your current relationship or may stem from further back – your past lives. If you are struggling to move on from an ex its worth looking at the relationship holistically. This is incredibly cathartic, healing work.
So, how do you figure out exactly what these dysfunctional patterns are? And how do you release them?!
Ways to release an Ex lover
When you frequently think about your ex you are unconsciously sending energy to them. It doesn’t matter whether the thoughts are angry or loving. These are transmitted through the cords. The more you think of that person the stronger the entanglement.
The energy exchange takes place regardless of time and space or your desire to ignore it as you continuously influence each other. Every aspect of your life can be directly impacted.
The first step you may need to take is to take a break from being around the ex or anywhere they may be spotted to have some energetic space to truly tune in to the relationship, especially if the intensity of the energy that flows between you confuses or frustrates you.
Whether consciously aware or not, your loved one will be affected by you and vice versa. Your loved one will receive your sadness and anger just as readily as your love and light. Shifts can occur by your actions alone.
What To Do
Soul is soul. You can access the higher self or soul of another person and communicate with them whether they are alive or dead. This allows you to clear the air: to tell them what has affected or hurt you as a result of your relationship. Then you offer them the opportunity to reciprocate.
On this higher soul level you can ask about the current relationship as well as any past lives that have impacted your relationship in this life. This is incredibly helpful in fully recognising the patterns played out from lifetime to lifetime, and understanding how to break the pattern in this lifetime.
Chances are there is past life history or Sacred Contract agreements in place. These are not easy to break. Free will means even if you’ve held up your side of the agreement and fulfilled your agreed role in the Sacred Contract, if the other person has decided not to their part there’s not a lot you can do.
Thank him for the time you spent together. Thank him for all the learning you received. Tell him how grateful you are. Tell him your connection has ended, the relationship is over. Your and your energy is no longer available to him. Communicate directly to his soul and explain you are no longer available to work with him in Spirit (or dreamtime). Thank him and ask that he honour your energetic boundaries.
Offer forgiveness. Forgiveness dissolves karma and karmic ties. It is not condoning any bad behavior or accepting any hurt or harm caused. It is just letting it go for your benefit so you no longer have to be burdened and influenced by it.
This isn’t done so you can argue or defend your position, but as an open and loving exchange to fully clarify both sides of the relationship. It isn’t done to condone bad behaviour or to remove the pain caused. But deep healing is possible if you can forgive each other (and yourself!) for any wrongdoing and hurt caused. This is incredibly moving as so often this is enough to relinquish the cycle of blame holding the relationship in dysfunctional patterns.
Finally, you can draw up an imaginary Contract with all the newfound awareness of all the roles and learning given and received. Both of you sign it. Stamp it ‘Complete’.
By gaining clarity on exactly what the Sacred Contract agreement was between you, writing it out and asking for it to be completed, you signal to the Universe that you are no longer subject to this agreement.
When you are ready to fully let go of your ex, pull all the cords out (it might look more like a cobweb or a tangled mess!) and allow them to be free. Say good bye and wish them all the best with all your heart.
Cutting the Ties
If it’s too raw and painful to do by yourself please know I am here for you. You do not have to do this alone. I offer Cord Cuttings to assist you. That way you have loving support every step of the way. You do not have to go it alone. These are one on one sessions over Skype.
A cord cutting is a way of cutting the energetic ties that bind you to your ex. These are no longer healthy or needed. A cord cutting releases the energetic ties that have built up between you. It’s a struggle to separate physically when still energetically entangled!
Cords are a method of high speed telepathic and energetic communication and sharing of information and energy.
We are all energetically attached to each other through cords that are attached to chakras. Healthy cords are clear in colour and give and receive energy in equal measure. Unhealthy cords are dark in colour and leave you feeling drained and depleted of energy.
By cutting the ties that bind you together, you are given breathing space. You are given the unique opportunity to release ties from ex lovers and prevent them from reforming or to create a new mutually beneficial relationship built on a healthier dynamic.
Releasing old cords is essential in order to move beyond pain and connect with who you truly are. It liberates you from old unresolved patterns or beliefs, freeing up your energy.
The purpose is to liberate all involved, to let go of all wrong doing in the past, and to create closure.
These cords reach across time and space so we work with the cords on all levels., layers and dimensions. Any healing process requires a conscious awareness and personal ownership of the process.
The intent is not to sever ties with the person, to blame or demonise the ex, but to release the dysfunctional patterns created by the dynamic you both created and to take ownership for any part you played.
Love is not a tap. You can’t just turn it off. I will always hold my ex in my heart. By working through the energetic entanglements you are able to fully release your ex lover to their own path and give you the freedom to meet someone new and have a healthier more fulfilling relationship.
Art by Noa Knafo